i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
