Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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