you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize