I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm always down for nudity.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
