I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
