hell yes lets make some ravioli
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
