I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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