This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
