I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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