moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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