Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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