You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
