how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
