wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So many bounce houses so little time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
