4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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