He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
we're so committed to being not committed
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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