i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
