So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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