Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
