nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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