is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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