I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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