Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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