i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
