ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
