I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
