doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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