I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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