i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
