Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i will never coherently bang her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize