i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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