Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
