Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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