so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
