I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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