your room smells of hookers.
And success
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
