Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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