U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
