You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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