I cockslap morals
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
