Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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