ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
