Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
