Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
