quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize