I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
