I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
