allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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