At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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