I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
