There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
