Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
