I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
