You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
