You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize