Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
