I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
