he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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