Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
