I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
