I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
