worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize