WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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