All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
