You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
